5 Ways to Love All Your Children the Same

Kids come packaged with different temperaments, interests and needs. Dr. Drew's Lifechanger and Parenting Expert Michele Borba says, "As much as you can try to make your kids feel equally loved, they are bound to accuse us of showing "favoritism." It's your job as a parent to minimize conditions that break down sibling relationships, resulting in long-lasting resentment."

Here are five ways to minimize jealousy and boost harmony amongst your kids:

Be Honest with Yourself

Do you avoid comparing your kids in front of others? Pretend you really are in the shoes of the child who feels jealous. How would you feel if you were your kid? Write down your thoughts. Then, commit to making changes in areas you think need it the most.

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Listen Openly to All Sides

Listening fairly to your kids is a powerful way to convey that you respect each child's thoughts and want to hear all sides: "Thanks for sharing. Now I want to hear your brother's side." The key is to build a fair relationship with each sibling so that he or she knows not only that you value each opinion, but that
you're an unbiased listener.

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Avoid Using Negative Labels

Family nicknames like Shorty, Clumsy, or Klutz can cause unfair family ribbing and fuel sibling resentment. "Don't worry, he's just the family klutz" can become daily reminders of incompetence. These kinds of labels often become difficult to erase, not only within but also outside your family as well.

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Nurture a Unique Strength for Each Sibling

All kids deserve to hear from parents what makes them unique; knowledge of that talent nurtures their self-esteem and sets them apart from their siblings. Once you identify their talent, find opportunities to cultivate and validate it so each child can be acknowledged for his/her strength.

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Reinforce Cooperative Behavior

Don't overlook one of the simplest ways to boost sibling harmony: catch them supporting each other. The moments may be few and far between, but when they do help, share, and work well together, tell them you appreciate their efforts. They're more likely to repeat the behaviors because they know that's what you want them to do.

For more life-changing information watch Dr. Drew's Lifechangers every day at 3 and 3:30 PM on the CW. Find out what channel it's on in your area.

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